Scalpel’s Edge

Tweeple are Funny

// November 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

1. captain_beef

   Fifi Box is the head frocktard. Kill her, and you stop the others.12:58 PM Nov 7th from Tweetie

2. drlori71

   Sometimes it’s better to not ask questions & say, I don’t want to know & I don’t care.8:24 AM Nov 6th from Echofon

3. GiggleMed

   Heard in the hallway: “The pleural-urethra fistula is much less common than you think”6:40 AM Nov 6th from HootSuite

4. DDsD

   Will climate change cause the sea levels to rise? I say we should take a wait and swim approach.7:47 PM Nov 5th from TweetDeck

5. ulishoes

   Pleased to report that the horror domino effect in the kitchen that claimed the life of a wine glass spared the bottle of red wine7:02 PM Nov 5th from Seesmic

6. drrwinters

   Stadium physician medical fact: Mascot decapitation reimplants have high success. Attach immediately. Do not put in milk on ice.3:36 PM Nov 5th from Tweetie

7. MyfWarhurst

   The most difficult thing about writing a book is the writing bit.3:22 PM Nov 5th from web

8. caseyf

   Doh. Someone filed an abuse complaint with our ISP citing a 6 hits an hour as a “constant attack”. We’re subscribing to their RSS feed.1:10 AM Nov 5th from Tweetie

9. middleclassgirl

   To the person who DMd to suggest that “Swearing shows that you’re unintelligent”, my son has just learnt the phrase “supercilious cunt”.8:41 AM Nov 4th from Tweetie

10. lipodoc

    Wow, I wonder if it’s possible to auto-asphyxiate from sucking in stomach at the beach?7:28 AM Nov 4th from Tweetie

11. adnrw

    I can’t find the cork to this bottle of wine, so I’m finishing it off. 2 glasses down.8:03 PM Nov 3rd from Tweetie

12. ulishoes

    If I were so inclined I could get quite high right now just by standing in the hall outside my neighbour’s apartment.5:56 PM Nov 3rd from Seesmic

13. badbanana

    I’m growing facial hair in November to raise awareness for how creepy I can look.3:46 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

14. Wil_Anderson

    All interviews should be done on horseback like at the Cup. I would love to see Kerry O’Brien chase Kevin Rudd down the street on a pony…2:55 PM Nov 3rd from web

15. Wil_Anderson

    Gotta love a day where people get up early, dress up and battle traffic… just so they can get pissed in a car park!2:51 PM Nov 3rd from web

16. middleclassgirl

    My dad was a bookie. I’ve got a great story that involves puma tracksuits and sawn off shotguns.2:36 PM Nov 3rd from Tweetie

Tweeple are funny

// November 9th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I have been MIA for a while, but I still find tweeple funny.  Here are some of the ticklers for the last few weeks.

1. DHughesy

   Apparently giving a running commentary of what’s happening on tv while your wife cleans up isn’t considered helping. Who makes these rules?about 18 hours ago from web

2. Kimmehkins

   ZOMG! President Obama wants to provide healthcare for ALL citizens he’s destroying America! *rolls eyes*about 23 hours ago from Brizzly

3. CherylAnneNY

   I shouldn’t be allowed to shop for Lego after 10pm. My amazon cart is ridiculous right now2:47 PM Nov 8th from web

4. middleclassgirl

   Playing pretend shit with the girl. I’m nit sure but I think I just ordered hot pineapple ice cream.1:35 PM Nov 8th from Tweetie

5. Lilylauren

   Just worked out I can change apple tv music from the bath- this is quite a breakthrough in bathing experience11:17 AM Nov 8th from Tweetie

6. middleclassgirl

   Just discoveredpics on husband’s phone of me laying naked in sun yesterday!!!!! DELETE DELETE DELETE EWWWWWWWWWE9:45 AM Nov 8th from Tweetie

7. seancarmody

   4 yr old: “why do you have this on the TV if you are looking at your iPhone”. #insiders9:31 AM Nov 8th from Tweetie

8. sharre

   Thinking it’s not plagiarists that are responsible for global warming but PhD Students & Academics. I have just filed half the Amazon.8:32 AM Nov 8th from web

9. CherylAnneNY

   “Where the Wild Things Are” w/ a bunch of 6 year olds. Saturday nights sure aren’t what they used to be7:32 AM Nov 8th from TwitterBerry

10. purple_velvet

    Dear people next door, shut up. I’m trying to tweet. Although some more snooze time would be better.7:31 AM Nov 8th from UberTwitter

11. CherylAnneNY

    “Yes, he was the token gay alcoholic non-native valet” #bookclubquotes4:49 AM Nov 8th from web

Tweeple are Funny

// May 15th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Twitter is a microblogging service, where users can share short updates about what they have been up to. Some tweeple are pretty funny, and some are pretty interesting. I use this time to share some of my favourite over the last few weeks.

1. michscav‘Obese men have less chance of marriage’ appears in my news feed this morning - how is that even a story?18 minutes ago from Splitweet

2. auntycookielistening to little people eat fruit in my ear…2:49 PM May 5th from web

3. middleclassgirloh look … stuff! (Guess who’s avoiding working on a spreadsheet?)2:26 PM May 5th from TweetDeck

4. ASIOis looking for civilian volunteers to take part in new immunization trials. Side effects include slight monsterism.2:21 PM May 5th from web

5. LilylaurenI have successfully made someone cry today ! Yay me !1:39 PM May 5th from TweetDeck

6. SylviaDiscountIt would be such a beautiful world if everyone wasn’t mental.11:57 AM May 5th from web

7. sentienceMicrosoft’s Windows 7 RC product key request wizard doesn’t work in Safari. Re-evaluating my decision to request one.11:53 AM May 5th from LaunchBar

8. badbananaYour Star Wars Day greeting is insensitive to those of us who do not believe in George Lucas.11:42 AM May 5th from web

9. MyfWarhurstSitting at home with the cat on my knee, purring. It’s nice to know that at home no-one gives a stuff about a dress.11:16 AM May 5th from web

10. dreamingspiresMessage to students — don’t sit too long on the periphery in team work. Big brother is watching you on social learning maps… #edaust0911:07 AM May 5th from TweetDeck

11. atariboyThat’s nawwwwt how yer maaake poridge11:04 AM May 5th from Tweetie

12. thedayhascomeIf your wife asks if sex or twitter is more important, don’t answer that question because it’s already too late.10:38 AM May 5th from Birdhouse

13. AussiewafflerOut for dinner tonight..to a restaurant..wow. It’s the little things you take for granted pre-children, like eating an entire warm meal.10:04 AM May 5th from web

14. goldenskyeWaiting in a queue and reading the ingredients list on a packet of frog prince jellies. They are not as healthy or as natural as they claim.3:52 PM May 4th from TwitterBerry

15. smurphWhy does it take the sales people longer to serve bogans?2:35 PM May 4th from Tweetie
16. movinmeatI was so please with myself when I got the boys to nap. I had to wake them at 5:30. Now they’re bouncing on their beds and won’t sleep. sigh2:17 PM May 4th from Tweetie
17. stitchinsurgeontwo fussy babies. they know mama has to go back to work tomorrow and they are sad too! keep me in your thoughts tomorrow!12:58 PM May 4th from mobile web
18. firstdogonmoonOh dear, Penny Woooonnngg is speeeeaaaakinng zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz clonk12:58 PM May 4th from TweetDeck
19. crikey_newsKevin Rudd just paraphrased Eminem — isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse?12:58 PM May 4th from twhirl
20. thedayhascomeIf you love something, set it free. Except for the hostage tied up in the basement. That would be really poor judgement on your part.11:11 AM May 4th from Birdhouse

Is Twitter healthy?

// May 13th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Being a doctor, I follow a lot of other medical types on twitter.  They share the funny, exasperating and funny things that go into working in health.  I have compiled some of my favourites over the last few weeks.

1. Geek2NursePsych patient question of the week: “Have I committed mental illness?”4:21 PM May 5th from Tweetie
2. pyknosisHave to miss supping at the Pharma teet this evening due to … work.12:35 PM May 5th from Tweetie
3. ER_docNothing quite like finishing off a shift with a thoracotomy!10:41 AM May 5th from TwitterFon
4. GiggleMedSaw this on a chart: “Allergic to statins and other classifieds”10:01 AM May 5th from web
5. meducateIn updated fairy tale - a fourth little pig was added and his house was made of high-quality HEPA filtration material9:02 PM May 1st from Tweetie
6. pyknosisDamn leukemia stole another one from me. Fuck.2:03 PM Apr 30th from web
7. GiggleMedOMG… saw this on a chart… “Chief complaint: heavy rectal breathing”… (not that there’s anything wrong with that)1:44 PM Apr 30th from web
8. pyknosisWhen you’re in a hospital, checking to see what’s stuck to the bottom of your shoe never has a pleasant outcome.12:53 PM Apr 30th from web
9. healthewomanit’s an influenza virus: wash your hands, stay inside, hold your breath 12:10 PM Apr 30th from Power Twitter
10. ER_docSpent time in a brain today. Always fascinating.11:20 AM Apr 29th from TwitterFon